Home: Scotland 2 East Germany 0, 1982. Scorers Paul Sturrock and John Wark (Euro Championship qualifier). The memory of walking into the West Stand and seeing the floodlit pitch for the very first time is still very vivid. In those days it was all terracing and crush barriers, and it was still just railway sleepers and dirt as well. The north stand had recently been partially closed and the east stand was uncovered. A great game and the melee of celebration of each goal was an adventure in itself.

Away: Holland 0 Scotland 0, Euro 96 at Villa Park, Birmingham. Dour nil nil which was better for us than for holland. First time at a championship finals for me having watched everything from Argentina 78 on the telly at home. It was magic to finally be there and experience things first hand for a change.

Kirin Cup 2006, Tokyo and Kobe. Total culture shock! If one race could rule the world then I'd vote for the Japanese. They put the "civil" in civilisation. Bullet trains, metros, politeness, innovation, superb food. One of the few places that I would consider emigrating to.

Millenium Stadium, Cardiff. I'm not a fan of new grounds, but if you're going to do it then it should be city centre - part of the city, accessible, and in your face. Five minutes from pub to seat and no stress about getting there, or back.

The diadora one with the white triangle under the neck. Even the pinstripe one has got a bit of character about it in comparison!

Don't like any of the white away shirts. White is the wrong colour.

I can't think of anything that is currently inspirational. We seem to have lost the spontaneity we used to have for new songs and seem to rely entirely on "Doe a Deer" or "We'll be coming" to generate any kind of atmosphere. Both are fit for purpose but we could do with something fresh.

Can't be arsed with the old Stand up/Sit down routine any more, or anything else anti english.

High - the home win against France. The away one was too surreal for me and I just walked away in a daze without really believing what I'd just seen. The home win was when we really got it right up Trezeguet and put ourselves top of the qualifying group.

Low - Euro 96 v Switzerland. I've never felt quite as low as that any time in my life.

Best toilets in the world are Japanese. Neither Jimmy Saville's seat nor Captain Kirk's has got more buttons to play with, and I could spend hours pressing the flush just to watch the water swirling round the bowl.

Worst - see the photos in Toilets of the World. Portaloo at FC Dacia, Chisinau.

Celtic 1 Aberdeen 3. Eric Black hat trick.

Too many to list, but top of the list are glory hunting triumphalist and/or armchair fans who think that because their (arbitrarily chosen) team has an occasional chance of winning something that it somehow adds something to their boring self centred miserable existence.

1 beer? Innes and Gunn.

1 spirit? Clynelish

And 1 famous member of the opposite sex? Kiera Knightly. Can she also be dressed up in her Pirates of the Caribbean gear as well please? Just for authenticity you understand.