game was sometime in the 70’s at Brockville to see Scotland
A, or perhaps it was Scotland B. Have a clear memory of it being
at night and walking into the stadium and seeing Willie Pettigrew
in a Scotland shirt. For reasons that I’ve never been sure,
I found that a surprisingly arousing sight : )
First full International at Hampden that I can remember was Northern
Ireland in 1978, or maybe Wales, whichever was first as I remember
being at both. Sat in the top of the North Stand, which looked a
bit like the top of a pigeon coup, the best seats no longer at Hampden,
First away match was in 1981. A bus and ferry
trip across the Irish sea to see Scotland get a goaless draw against
Billy Bingham’s men, and a ticket to the 1982 World Cup Finals
– and to think I thought that it would always be that way
2. Best away trip?
Nothing so far compares with Mexico
in 1986. Long before cheap air travel and t’internet. Flight
to Houston, bus all the way down to Queretero, and the best two
and a half weeks of cheap (Tecate) beer and quesadillo’s that
(not very much) money could buy.
The bus trip from Neza after the game against Uraguay, with Mexican’s
coming out of their (corrugated iron) houses to wave the Scots goodbye,
was truly unforgettable – and the reason I chose to do what
I do now for a living! How profound!! And to think if I had looked
at those penniless children in a different light I could have been
a director at Rio Tinto!!!
3. Best foreign stadium visited?
I have very fond memories
of the Olympic Stadium in Phnom Penh where I plied my trade as a
workhorse (OK, brutally shite) right back for two seasons with Bayon
But, as a supporter of Scotland, it probably has to be either Dortmund
(Paul can fill in the correct name... Ed:
Westfalenstadion) or Celtic Park ;-)
The Playboy in Kobe –
it was just so Japaneasy :-)
5. Describe your usual match-day attire
Kilt (bought in 1990 I’ll have you know), 1967 Scotland top
(bought in 1998). The two oldest pieces of clothing I own –
and probably the only two that I didn’t buy in TK Maxx!
Black boots, Cream Socks, Green Flashes and a cheeky smile!
6. Is there anywhere you have seen Scotland play that you would like
to go back to?
I really want to go back
to Japan for Kirin Cup III and I’d head back to Mexico in a
flash. In Europe, it would have to be Norway. Did I say Norway, sorry,
what I meant to say was anywhere in the Europe other than Norway,
in fact I only want to go back to countries that don’t have
the word Norway in their name, or the flag of Norway as their flag,
or have citizens called Norweigans. So, basically, anywhere but Norway
– which is shit.
7. Where have you have seen Scotland play that you would NOT like
to return to?
Lithuania (well I could
say Norway but I’m going there next year, but if we could instigate
a major crisis and have the game moved to somewhere else, then I would
probably say Norway). Ohh fuck it, I want to change my answer to Norway.
8. And where do you want to go to (but haven't yet)?
In no particular order:
Burkino Fasa or Mali
Tajikisatan, Azerbajan, Krygastan
China, Laos, Thailand, Malaysia or Australasia
Argentina, Brazil, Columbia, Paraguay or Uruguay.
But probably not Norway!
9. Who's the best Scottish player that you have actually seen?
Although to be fair he wasn’t actually in a condition to
taunt the English defense at the time as he was leaning against
a wall on Paisley Road West, and I think he was pished. He did however
give me a smile, and a wink and said ‘alright wee man’,
which as I was about nine seemed appropriate, and surprisingly astute
for a man who looked like he was a half and a half away from falling
into a coma
Assuming you want a person actually seen playing, then I’d
opt for either Dalglish, Joe Jordon, Souness, Cooper or McCoist.
– honourable mentions for Andy Ritchie and Chic Charnley,
because they epitomize the Scottish footballer and their unerring
ability to pish talent against a wall!
I have a memory of
toilets at the stadium in Kiev that still disturb me. The best were
obviously in Japan, as they opened their lid for you, greeted you
as you sat down, then blew hot air up your bottom – and you
didn’t even have to take them out for dinner :-)
17. Favourite domestic stadium?
I have a season ticket
on the half way line at Ibrox and it’s the perfect seat. So
that’s my favourite domestic view. But my favourite away grounds
in Scotland were probably (old) Tynecastle, (old) Celtic Park and
(old) Tannadice – though sadly the souless identikit stadia
has taken the charm away and are set to be the norm for years to come.
New stadia are the Norway of international stadium design.
18. Best domestic match ever attended?
Easter Road, May
2005. The helicopter is changing direction! The best 120 seconds
of thirty five years of watching football.
Aberdeen in 87, Butchers goal to end the drought, and Dunfermline
at home in 2003 were also great.
The answer to 21 ….
has had me in tears for the last ten minutes.
I really have to stop laughing at my own jokes!
23. Best night out ever on a TA trip? (aka the "Tuesday Night
in Graz Award")
1992 in Norskopping in
Sweden, after the CIS match, four in the morning sitting with Ally
McCoist and Derek Johnstone watching Big Dunc running about like a
big daftie vaulting over chairs and hedges in the beer garden being
chased by a hot dog vendor.
24. You're stranded on a remote island in the Hebrides. Before the
ship went down you managed to salvage some belongings (to help you
pass the time until you're rescued) including...
book? The Ladybird Book of Raft Building
1 magazine? Whittlers
1 album? Shipbuilding
1 film? North by Northwest
1 beer? Alice
1 spirit? …
of St Louis???
And 1 famous member of the opposite sex?