This Site:
Other WFC-related Sites:
(This article was first published in the Worthing FC Programme in the 2002-2003 season)
Hark, hear the pipes are calling…
Staines Town
Where will it be? Staines? Oh no, they haven’t finished the Wheatsheaf Village complex yet. Egham, oh wondrous place of Dr Seuss legend? Could be, could be. Chertsey? You never know!
Seriously, Staines nomadic existence of late has taken them the length and breadth of Surrey, or as it’s more commonly know to us seasiders, that pokey little bottom-left corner of the M25. Best check before travelling, particularly if you’re driving the bus.
Crooked Billet: What is a crooked billet? Where can I get one? And why are there so many roundabouts named after it? What use is a travel report saying there’s problems at the Crooked Billet roundabout when there are dozens of them? Well, Your Honour? Two weeks for contempt of court – would you believe it?
Ashford Town (Middlesex)
A “pokey little corner of the M25” double header to look forward to here, maybe the team should make like the Premiership and stay in a hotel up there to cut down on travelling? I here Slough is particularly fine at this time of year.
Ashford, far from being in Kent as it should be, has jumped on the back of a Romanian lorry idling at Dover and hitched a ride up to the Big Smoke, in a perverse twist of fate. Setting up camp in a field at the end of a Heathrow runway, and building primitive dwellings out of breeze-blocks and corrugated iron, the team were left with noting to play in but orange and white striped kits, inspired by chewit wrappers, no less.
What’s it really like? I have no idea! I’ve never been, dear child, I’m just making it up as I go along.
Bognor Regis Town
The countdown begins again… as we ready to do battle once more with the town with the inferiority complex over its stumpy pier. A more sprightly, playful and overall more bothered about it Worthing side should make this into a more exciting contest than the FA Cup match, where the two teams swayed in the ring like punch-drunk middleweights.
Bognor – almost sounds like an arthouse film genre. Le Bog Noir: dark, dank and unappealing. Someone’s had the lightbulb! You try and feel your way along the wall, but urrggh, what was that? You shudder as you realise the horrible truth…
Boxing Day: Traditionally, children would receive their presents on the 25th December, and then open them a day later. In Spain, children receive gifts on the 6th January (Epiphany – the festival of the three kings) to mark the gifts from the wise men from the east. Of course, if you do this, you can save a fortune in the New Year sales – think about it. It makes sense to be Spanish.
Homeward, to think again
The Flying Horseman
7th Feb 2004