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(This article was first published in the Worthing FC Programme in the 2002-2003 season)
The never-ending story…
Horsham
Wellies? Barbour jackets? Landrovers? Tennis and lunch with Tarquin and Chloe? NO - leave it.
Let the battle of the Sussex heavyweights commence – 1 division, 1 season, 6 derby matches each. Not counting cups, the Ryman Sussex sides will meet in a series of no less than twelve matches to decide who the daddy is. Can Worthing get an early start in this league-within-a-league (-within-my-head) against free-scoring Horsham? Can our defence withstand the onslaught of Gavin Geddes, Robbie Collins and the other guy who got the hump after being dropped? Can our wing wizards hit form mystify the Horsham defence and whip in the sort of crosses that Jones and Knee lap up?
Horsham lost 2-0 to Southwick in a pre-season friendly… no one is invincible.
Top tip: Go to this game. Wear red (even if you have to put a Rebels’ shirt over your jacket, or even better, go in a boiler suit). Sing a lot. See Worthing win. Go home happy.
Windsor & Eton
Anyone going to both games will suffer a dizzying bout of déjà vu as both Queen Street and Stag Meadow are almost identical – down a thin lane, cover on one side and small stand on the other, Tea bar in the top corner near the turnstiles, wellies, barbour jackets…
Spooky, that’s what it is. A conspiracy to disorientate the easily confused and the weak of mind. Should be banned by the league. If you drive here, under no circumstances by tempted to look at the map and decide that Datchet is a short-cut. Datchet is no such thing. It is a road to nowhere, and is only good as the name of the mechanical dog in Battlestar Galactica.
Windsor & Eton have a strangely alluring red and green kit (remember: “red and green should never be seen”), but it can’t compete with the change kits – try and sneak a glance… if you dare!
Fact: In 1995, a Manchester City fan was banned from bringing dead chickens into the Maine Road ground. He used to celebrate a City goal by swinging the lifeless bird around his head.
Walton & Hersham
Parting is such sweet sorrow, unless you’re leaving Walton’s clubhouse that is. Last season’s number one clubhouse for watching Pop Idol over a can of Guinness is back, and this time it’s on a Tuesday. No train trips, apart from for the fiercely committed and criminally insane, and no Waggon and Horses. How could this be allowed to happen?
With the vocal majority of Worthing’s travelling support mourning the loss of this epoch-marking train journey, the residents and tennis-players of this sleepy Surrey suburb are in for a quieter night than usual. The very place that saw the birth of the seminal “Pikachu Song” will, alas, only play host to a fraction of our normal support. Of course, this might mean that we actually win.
Walton are a team that have benefited substantially in the recent from selling players such as Nathan “Duke” Ellington (Bristol Rovers) and Bas Savage (Reading), which is a shame, as they had the making of a great team of comedy names. Could still do with more beer on tap in the clubhouse, mind.
Why: why not? Go on, what’s the worst that could happen?
Ambassador, you’re really spoiling us
The Flying Horseman
7th Feb 2004