(This article was first published in the Worthing FC
Programme in the 2002-2003 season)
The never-ending story…
Wellies? Barbour jackets? Landrovers? Tennis and lunch
with Tarquin and Chloe? NO - leave it.
Let the battle of the Sussex heavyweights commence –
1 division, 1 season, 6 derby matches each. Not counting cups, the Ryman
Sussex sides will meet in a series of no less than twelve matches to decide
who the daddy is. Can Worthing get an early start in this league-within-a-league
(-within-my-head) against free-scoring Horsham? Can our defence withstand
the onslaught of Gavin Geddes, Robbie Collins and the other guy who got
the hump after being dropped? Can our wing wizards hit form mystify the
Horsham defence and whip in the sort of crosses that Jones and Knee lap
up?
Horsham lost 2-0 to Southwick in a pre-season friendly…
no one is invincible.
Top tip: Go to this game. Wear red (even
if you have to put a Rebels’ shirt over your jacket, or even better,
go in a boiler suit). Sing a lot. See Worthing win. Go home happy.
Anyone going to both games will suffer a dizzying bout
of déjà vu as both Queen Street and Stag Meadow are almost
identical – down a thin lane, cover on one side and small stand
on the other, Tea bar in the top corner near the turnstiles, wellies,
barbour jackets…
Spooky, that’s what it is. A conspiracy to disorientate
the easily confused and the weak of mind. Should be banned by the league.
If you drive here, under no circumstances by tempted to look at the map
and decide that Datchet is a short-cut. Datchet is no such thing. It is
a road to nowhere, and is only good as the name of the mechanical dog
in Battlestar Galactica.
Windsor & Eton have a strangely alluring red and green
kit (remember: “red and green should never be seen”), but
it can’t compete with the change kits – try and sneak a glance…
if you dare!
Fact: In 1995, a Manchester City fan
was banned from bringing dead chickens into the Maine Road ground. He
used to celebrate a City goal by swinging the lifeless bird around his
head.
Parting is such sweet sorrow, unless you’re leaving
Walton’s clubhouse that is. Last season’s number one clubhouse
for watching Pop Idol over a can of Guinness is back, and this time it’s
on a Tuesday. No train trips, apart from for the fiercely committed and
criminally insane, and no Waggon and Horses. How could this be allowed
to happen?
With the vocal majority of Worthing’s travelling
support mourning the loss of this epoch-marking train journey, the residents
and tennis-players of this sleepy Surrey suburb are in for a quieter night
than usual. The very place that saw the birth of the seminal “Pikachu
Song” will, alas, only play host to a fraction of our normal support.
Of course, this might mean that we actually win.
Walton are a team that have benefited substantially in
the recent from selling players such as Nathan “Duke” Ellington
(Bristol Rovers) and Bas Savage (Reading), which is a shame, as they had
the making of a great team of comedy names. Could still do with more beer
on tap in the clubhouse, mind.
Why: why not? Go on, what’s the
worst that could happen?
Ambassador, you’re really spoiling us
The Flying Horseman
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