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(This article was first published in the Worthing FC Programme in the 2002-2003 season)
I’m losing you…
Bracknell Town
“Dizzy, my head is spinning, like a whirpool, it’s never ending – all written about Bracknell, apparently. It’s big, it’s round, and it’s sponsored by Royal Standard Provident Life Solutions, or something similar. It’s the town’s major contribution to new town suburbia, the envy of traditional seaside towns like ours. Ladies and gentlemen, friends, romans, countrymen, I give you: the humble roundabout.
Except they’re not humble, are they? There’s thousands of them, ganging up on us all. With entire eco-systems sitting in the middle of them. Just when you thought it was safe to let it go and slip into fourth, BANG, it’s another one. And you can’t see anything… nooooo, because there’s a massive great blooming rainforest in the way. And that’s the last time you’ll try and cut that corner to the M4, my son.
The Portuguese Water-Dog: What do you get when you cross a dog and a duck? Answer: the Portuguese water-dog. This curious breed looks very like a poodle at first glance, but with uniquely webbed feet it’s a great swimmer, able to dive down to depths of 6m.
Sussex Senior Cup Extra: Lewes
The Dripping Pan? Now I don’t want to plumb the depths here, but surely they should just tighten their nuts? We won the cup once (well, 21 times, but only once since the days of colour telly), can we do it again? Ever?
The magic and romance of the cup will come to Lewes’ partially assembled ground on Tuesday 19th November – we won’t get behind the goal as it’s a building site. Be prepared for a crowd of glory-hunting band-wagon jumpers telling us to leave little Jimmy alone. Where were they in 1999? In fact, where were you? Yes, you!
River: Ouse, apparently. Look at a map of England, there’s dozens of them. A big one runs through Peterborough. No originality.
Bryco League Cup Extra: Tooting & Mitcham United
A veritable treasure trove for breeze block lovers. Legoland for the non-league. Grey, soul-less, and with steep terracing, Imperial Fields beckons once again, this time in the Bryco Cup. Can the Rebels repeat their 4-0 win of last month? Can we sustain a league cup run? Seriously…
Be prepared to spend, spend, spend if you’re visiting for this one. Obviously geared for the discerning Stamford Bridge goer, Tooting charge a hefty £2.50 for a burger, a price that jumps a whole thirty pence for a cheese slice. ONE CHEESE SLICE! Get a grip. Action must be taken.
Telly Addict: Afghan jacket sporting Wolfie Smith wanted freedom for Tooting. What happened, Wolfie? A card-carrying New Labour member these days no doubt, eh Comrade, eh?
Nobody's up except the moon and me, and a lazy old tomcat on a midnight
spree
The Flying Horseman
7th Feb 2004