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       THURSDAY 1st APRIL 2004 
        Ryman League Division One South 
        BANSTEAD ATHLETIC (0) 1 (Fontana) 
        WORTHING 
        (0) 1 (Knee) 
        Attendance ??? (But loads more than last time!)   
      Just what is it about Merland Rise? It is always cold. 
        There’s never anyone there. I’m never sure if Tadworth or 
        Tattenham Corner station is nearest. And now it seems there’s something 
        in the air up at Banstead that turns match officials into absolute buffoons. 
        After the farcical, but typically arrogant performance of Andy Legg three 
        weeks ago, tonight’s official quite simply gave incompetence a bad 
        name, missing two obvious handball penalty decisions, disallowing two 
        legitimate goals and baffling both sets of players with his decision making. 
        Oh, yes and I forgot the backpass decision – the worst single decision 
        I have ever seen on a football field, and the booking for Chris Dicker 
        for telling the truth – “You’ve given us nothing ref”. 
        Maybe the referee should have shown some respect to a genuine man of the 
        law? 
      Before the game we were treated to the most expensive 
        cheeseburger in the league. At £2.70 I was expecting it to be cooked 
        by Nigella Lawson but was to be disappointed. We chatted with some very 
        amiable AFC Wimbledon fans (yes, they are looking after Ross Standen) 
        and the rather less amiable Swiss Family Fontana who were intent on running 
        Lewes and Worthing down (after Luke’s ultimately unsuccessful spells 
        with both Sussex sides) in front of those who dared to question his record 
        this season amongst themselves. 
      Worthing’s gruelling schedule continued with the 
        squad rotation system being used to full effect – Hill for Edwards, 
        Beech for Guile, Grice for Carr, Francis for Jones and Knee for Pulling 
        the changes from Tuesday. Those that remained looked absolutely knackered 
        and you could see how Banstead had pulled off some shock victories (6-1 
        at home to Lewes, for example) as they completely bypassed midfield and 
        relied on some of the longest throws I have ever seen – put it this 
        way, Ross Johnson was looking on enviously. Their route one approach was 
        in complete contrast to Worthing’s passing game and to be fair to 
        Banstead it was always well within the laws of the game. 
      The first half saw few clear-cut chances but much discussion 
        on the performance of the referee who did manage to disallow a perfectly 
        good goal (a Francis header from a Knee cross) and miss two handballs 
        (“I didn’t see it” – twice!). 
      After the interval, Worthing had the ball in the net within 
        three minutes, Mark Knee driving the ball across the goalkeeper and most 
        satisfyingly, into the corner of the net. Worthing dominated and should 
        have equalised when Mark Knee headed home but his effort was ruled out 
        for offside in a decision that can only be described as “extremely 
        debatable”. Nko was put through on goal and a defender got back 
        to play the ball into Tony Webb’s hands but amazingly the referee 
        waved play on, to the astonishment of both teams. The disappointing Ekoku 
        was replaced by Gavin Jones who could have considered himself very unlucky 
        to lose his place after his goal on Tuedsay at Egham. 
      As Worthing tried to consolidate victory they tired, allowing 
        Banstead to get back into the game. With shattered players in midfield 
        unable to put their foot on the ball and keep possession for the last 
        five minutes it was almost inevitable that something would happen and 
        who should pop-up but Fontana to tap the ball in from close range in the 
        90th minute - the only cheers being from the Banstead bench and his family. 
        What an embarrassing contrast to the (relatively) big crowds at Lewes, 
        Worthing and Eastbourne Borough. 
      I said that seven points out of nine would be a satisfactory 
        return and that looks like what it will be although the Met Police should 
        not be underestimated, as Windsor will testify. As a wise man pointed 
        out to me on the way, could it be we live to regret the two points dropped 
        at Windsor on the very first day of the season? 
      But let’s face facts. Barring a major catastrophe, 
        we will finish top six and are in the final of the Sussex Senior Cup. 
        Anything more than that will be a bonus. And for those of you disappointed 
        that twelfth place will not be ours this season, rest easy and look at 
        our position in the Ladbrokes Fair Play award for our division. Can you 
        guess where we are? 
      TEAM – Will Packham 7, Owen Hill 
        6, Chris Dicker 6, Andrew Beech 7, Clay Lamont 8, Stuart Holmes 7, Shaun 
        Grice 6, Paul Rogers 7, Sam Francis 7, Nko Ekoku 5 (Sub Gavin Jones 6), 
        Mark Knee 7 SUBS NOT USED Sean Edwards, Ross Johnson, Roy Pook, Paul Brown 
      MY MAN OF THE MATCH – Clay 
        Lamont, determined, strong and a player that genuinely enjoys winning 
        the ball. And this from a player who wasn’t even first choice for 
        a County League side two months ago and is now potentially a Ryman League 
        Div 1 South Champion and Sussex Senior Cup winner. Amazing.   
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