(This article was originally published in the WFC Programme
in the 2001-02 season. It has not been changed, and may no longer be fully
up-to date)
Professional pie-eater, Paul Allison, considers the half-time
cuisine scene
Well, when it comes to match-day tea bars, my priorities
might well differ from the majority - as a committed vegetarian, the barbecues
of County League sides Wick and Westfield are not for me, nor the cheeseburgers
of Wealdstone and Walton.
What really gets me going is the prospect of “cheesy
chips”, as sold at Thame United. Cheap, inventive, and a possibly
questionable mixture of protein and carbohydrates (depending on which
diet plan you subscribe to), when mixed with tomato sauce, cheesy chips
truly are a half-time delicacy par excellence.
Honourable mentions must go to Carshalton and Whyteleafe.
Carshalton for their home-brewed slush puppies (only available at the
chip hut next to the ground, NOT the burger van inside), guaranteed to
make you a figure of fun for all those around you. I had the peach version,
and felt the furry tongue build-up when I was less than half-way down!
Whyteleafe take the award for the most inventive use of a tea urn, using
the hot water in conjunction with a microwave to knock out trays of Super
Noodles. I kid you not – when I was last there (League Cup game
in the midst of the 2000 Petrol Crisis), I plumped for the Thai Curry
version, resplendent in a white polystyrene chip tray, garnished with
a buttered roll. Very filling, and I didn’t find hands constantly
reaching for them as you would with chips. In fact, I didn’t find
anyone near me for a good 15 minutes until the Thai Curry aroma had dissipated.
The best overall tea bar in our division has to be, without
question, down the road at Bognor. Even when wearing Worthing colours,
the service in there is always fast and friendly, with a massive selection
(even for me), including the ultimate hangover cure: the fried egg sandwich.
There’s even the famous Bread Pudding, if you like that kind of
thing – not for me, though – when it comes to bread I’m
keeping it savoury.
Having said that, my most memorable eating experience
actually took place at Yeading earlier this season, in a freezing league
cup encounter watched by a mere 50 people (where the Rebels made up two-thirds
of the crowd). Due to an unfortunate family incident, the tea bar was
not able to be opened, as those left at the club did not have the keys.
This didn’t stop Andy from getting hold of a local number and six
of us ordered pizzas and garlic bread to be delivered to the turnstile,
which duly arrived in time for the interval. Anyone who has been to The
Warren will remember that it is at the end of a particularly unappealing
(and downright dangerous looking) industrial estate road in West London,
and we were convinced the delivery boy would take one look at it and decide
it was a hoax! Nonetheless, he braved it and I was rewarded with a Vegetarian
Supreme on the terraces!
|