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Could it be the grittiness of the capital city, Riga? Could it
be that next to Estonia and Lithuania, any country would be hard-pressed
to shine in the talent department? Who knows, but Latvia is still
an impressive talent-spotting destination in it's own right. Packed
with clubs and bars, and Russians with skirts so short you'd think
it was a boob-tube - all-in-all, a happy hunting ground!
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Absolutely stunning. A door policy like the most exclusive clubs
– they just don’t let the ugly birds in. Even the pizzeria
waitresses look like catwalk models. Best of the Baltics by far.
Sexpest says: This
was one of the two places where I found the girls really up for
it, there are some serious Scottish-daft birds (as opposed
to daft Scottish birds!)
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Romania's smaller, cleaner and more corrupt little neighbour shares
a similary impressive gene pool with it's western neighbour. The
women are just as stunning, but the shoes are a little pointier,
and this should probably be taken into consideration.
One other thing to consider - walking the streets of Chisinau with
a local lovely on your arm drastically reduces the chances of being
"taxed" by an over-zealous policeman.
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Norwegian women are exceptionally pretty - that is undeniable.
That keeps me happy, as personally I always think if girl isn't
pretty, the rest pales into insignificance (I've never subscribed
to the "not looking at the mantelpiece" theory). They're
also very "friendly", in a come up and grab you in the
middle of the street kind of way (irrespective if you're with your
wife at the time - eh. Ally?).
One word of warning, however - there is such a thing as "SAS",
or Scandinavian Arse Syndrome. The theory, as explained to me by
the landlord of a Copenhagen pub, goes along the lines of they know
they're pretty, they avoid work by studying until they're 30, then
get married and have kids. Not necessarily a problem in these enlightened,
post J-Lo days, of course!
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Never seen anything like it – the whole country is either
smashed on vodka or getting over a vodka hangover at any given time.
If a bloater like me can get propositioned on a daily basis (including
a suggested girlfriend swap), and get followed out of a bar so the
barmaid can give me a gift of a box of pint glasses, then you CANNOT
FAIL. Beware the vodka breath, but the ladies are very, very
friendly.
Sexpest says:
A country full of drunken loons, very friendly, met a student
from Poland on my travels last year kept in touch so got invited
over. The main problem where I was staying a lot of girls disappeared
about 9pm
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"Everyone has a moustache, even the men!" - a harsh comment,
and one that is blatantly untrue when put to the test. Lithe, slender,
sultry and stunning, Portuguese ladies have everything you'd expect
of a latin lovely, yet with a little bit more. Maybe it's facing
the Atlantic, maybe it's the toxins in the seafood, but somehow
Portugal's finest are the shing light of the Iberian peninsula.
Special mention to the three nurses in the Cafe Vianna - "We
can be back in 20 minutes in our uniforms"
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The land of the "Cheeky Girls" (nope, that's Rye in East
Sussex), where an entire procession of stunningly attractive yet
painfully thin (yet, strangely, incredibly well-endowed) brunette
Balkan beauties awaits, is an untapped paradise of fit hoo-haa ready
to be open-cast mined. The drink is cheap, the beggars are agressive,
the taxi drivers are very creative, and the place is downright weird.
Still, when the women are this gorgeous, who cares?
And your chances? Well, they're not EU for a start...
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What can I say? Sorry to generalise here,
but Italian women* really, really, really do rate themselves. And
I don’t. Attitude is everything.
(*At least the ones we met did, apart from
Chris's friend from Parma)
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Outshines it's more touristed neighbour the Czech Republic with
a bevvy of beauties in every bar and shop. The flight over was packed
with English guys with young glamorous Slovakian wives, so we must
surely be in with a chance. A very friendly country and a well-established
pub culture can only help things along. Definitely in Eurpoe's Premier
League along with Croatia.
Sexpest says: They
are also very generous, my Slovak friend insisted in paying for
at least half of everything, organised free accomodation for me
in Prague. May end up being Mrs Sexpest.
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Now, everyone know Spanish burds are well fit, but one serious
word of warning from an old friend of mine who went to uni in Spain
for a year and finally worked out why all the local guys were cracking
on to her... "all the local lads know that they don't get much
action until the marry a Spanish girl, and then as soon as she has
a kid she lets herself go big-time". Accounts for all those
fat, moustachioed women in black though!
Shocking stereotypes, but then again that's what this is all about!
So the bottom line: great to look at, but perhaps not the best long
term prospect!
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Full of Eastern promise, Korean women are absolutely stunning.
What more can I say - if I became single, I'd be booking a flight
within weeks. Although no real evidence exists on the Chances scale,
given the chauvanistic reputation of Korean men, we must in with
a shout!
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All the sultry beauty of southern Eastern Europe, but with far
more curvaceous figures - think Croatia meets Marilyn Monroe. A
natural friendliness and beautiful eyes and smiles, but don't get
too carried away here. You're pretty much looking at a proposal
before you'll get a chance.
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Can I do this report without once using the worn cliche "Welsh
Rarebit"? No. There are some real corkers in Wales, made all
the more attractive and approachable by their down-to-earth outlook
and their filthy laughs. Besides the local lassies, Cardiff is a
chock-a-block with students.
It's a sad man who can't fill his boots in this oft-overlooked
reservoir of top totty!
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This is a light-hearted look at the sort of ladies the Tartan Army
comes into contact with on tour (excluding “professionals”).
It is based on one person’s opinion and on anecdotal evidence,
based on a Scotsman’s chances in a kilt, and is written purely
for entertainment and humour. It is not intended to generalise or
offer a streotypical view, rather it is aimed to give a humorous
composite view based on the evidence available. In no way does it
mean to imply that English girls are easy. Whatsoever.
Although no offence is intended, and I would implore anyone likely
to be offended to simply stop reading, if you would like to object
to anything contained on this page (or have any other comments),
please email Paul on this link
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